Halbrook.net
26Jan/100

Marriage Matters

A note, preface, and caveat: I've purposefully avoided posts about the permanence and the meaning of marriage, knowing that I have many friends who have strong, heartfelt feelings on many sides of the social/political discussions around "marriage" and civil partnership at this point in history. I post this not as part of those discussions, but as part of a narrower discussion around the institution of marriage between a man and a woman.

In addition, as I note below, I note that there are real and valid reasons that some marriages come to an end - or may never have really begun in the first places. I'm not throwing stones at any that have... I'm merely writing to the ideal, knowing that every situation is unique, deeply personal, and the result of deep discernment and relationships between man, woman, and God alone.

Our wedding

Our wedding

While we were preparing for our marriage, one of the things that meant the most to me was a discussion Suzanne and I had about the good and bad times we had witnessed our parents go through, and how their example of love and commitment to marriage through the "thick and thin" was something that had impacted both of us. We were both approaching our marriage with the mindset that it would be forever, and that we had no inkling that ending our marriage would ever be an option.

I imagine that the vast majority of couples approach marriage with that mindset - even some who end up leaving their marriage later in life.

Acknowledging that there are very valid reasons that marriages end (more accurately, that they could be said to have never actually begun), we believe that our commitment is for life. The feeling in this regard is mutual, and our commitment to each other is the same today as it was then, and will God-willing be the same in 40 or 50 or 60 years.

That said, there has been a real and frightening trend away from both the permanence and the sacredness of marriage in our world.

To quote some statistics from a recent study published by the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, highlighted in "The First Vocation Crisis", a special report in Catholic World Report:

  • In 1960, 69% of American males and 66% of females were married. By 2007, those figures had declined to 55% of males and 51% of females.
  • Between 1960 and 1980, the number of divorces per 1,000 unmarried American women over the age of 15 rose dramatically from 9.2 to 22.6; the figure has since fallen to 17.5.
  • In 1960, 1.8% of males and 2.6% of females were currently divorced (and not remarried). Today, 8.6% of males and 11% of females are currently divorced.
  • 26% of children now live with a single parent—up from 9% in 1960.
  • The number of cohabiting couples grew from 439,000 in 1960 to 523,000 in 1970 and 1,589,000 in 1980. Between 1990 and 2000, the figure grew from 2,856,000 to 3,822,000; by 2007, the number had skyrocketed to 6,445,000.
  • The number of cohabiting couples who are raising children grew from 196,000 in 1990 to 2,505,000 in 2007. 65% of high school senior boys and 58% of high school senior girls now believe that cohabitation before marriage is a good idea—even though numerous studies have shown the negative effects of cohabitation on children’s well-being.

The article also calls out the drastic declines in sacramental marriage in the U.S. in the same decades.

As an initial response to this phenomenon as observed in recent years, the U.S. Bishops have issued a fantastic pastoral statement, "Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan" (PDF file). It should required reading for all couples preparing for the Sacrament of Marriage, in my humble opinion.

Which brings us to marriage preparation. While some might look at the statistics and suggest that the Church should make it easier to enter into a marriage in the Church, at least one diocese - the Diocese of Phoenix - is raising the bar.

Here's the bar as it's been raised in Phoenix:

  • Nine months of pre-marriage preparation time instead of six. Several methods of preparation will remain available, including intensive weekend sessions or a series of weeknight meetings, but the time will be lengthened.
  • A full course in Natural Family Planning, a type of family planning that does not use artificial forms of birth control. The church opposes use of contraceptives, from condoms to pills.
  • More comprehensive courses on practical skills and the theology of marriage

Kudos to the Bishop Olmstead and the Diocese of Phoenix for providing the time for the couple to learn and to discern together before they walk down the aisle.

In an August interview, Archbishop Timothy Dolan of New York discussed the four greatest challenges he believes the Church in the United States is facing today. First on his list was the state of marriage.

“That’s where we have the real vocation crisis,” he said. “We have a vocation crisis to lifelong, life-giving, loving, faithful marriage. If we take care of that one, we’ll have all the priests and nuns we need for the Church.”

Amen. Here's to that observation, Archbishop Dolan.

That's what we need to prepare our young couples for, and ensure that they're equipped to build - as well as we can help as a community of faith.

It was almost two years ago, in Peoria at a reception celebrating the ordination of my childhood friend, Father Robert Lampitt, to the priesthood, when his mother made quite an observation. She noted that out of the 100 or so people at the reception, 30 or so were kids, and of those, probably 25 were boys. And she hypothesized that God was going to provide the next generation of priests (what will all those boys do with so few girls?) in this little sample of active, "lifelong, life-giving, loving, faithful" domestic churches.

It has always frustrated me that so many Catholics consider praying the Prayer for Vocations as  their way to be "working for vocations." The prayer is good and important, but there's work to do too. And the work that needs to be done is in the nest where vocations are formed in young men and women from the youngest ages. By moms and dads who are faithful to their promise and to the vocation to which they were called.

Marriage preparation, of course, isn't the only answer. Strong marriage prep is just one part of what the identity of "church" really needs to be. A community of faith supports and strengthens its own as well... and should make every effort to strengthen and support husbands and wives through their lives, through highs and lows.

We're blessed that our parish offers that, through activities and through the friendships with have with fellow parishioners. In fact, it's a big part of why we are so active at Holy Family. Our parish really is a significant part of our "extended family," and living up to our marriage vows is even more important to us because of the examples of faithfulness that we see around us in the parish.

Prayer for one another, awareness, discernment, and preparation, and ongoing community and support. All ways that we can work together as Church to strengthen and support marriage.

As the late Pope John Paul II said, "The future of humanity passes by way of the family." Solve one vocation problem - the one in the domestic church - and the other vocation problem will solve itself.

DON'T FORGET!

Commenting here (on this post's comment area) or sharing it on a social network are two ways that you can earn entries into this month's $25 Borders Gift Card Giveaway. Please comment and share your thoughts. I'm eager to hear them.

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Delicious
  • Digg
  • Posterous
  • PrintFriendly
  • Share/Bookmark
Print This Post Print This Post
19Jan/101

Mass for the victims of the Haiti earthquake

Diocese of Springfield in IllinoisIn our diocese. Heck, in our neck of the woods:

"Msgr. Carl Kemme, Diocesan Administrator will celebrate a Special Mass for the many victims of the recent earthquake in Haiti.

"The mass will be held on Sunday, January 24th at Ss Peter and Paul Church in Alton at 5:00 p.m.

"Fr. Delix Michel, a native priest from Haiti will be homilist. Fr. Michel is the pastor of Ss Peter and Paul. People from the Diocese of Springfield are invited to attend. Please remember those who have died from this natural disaster and those left to rebuild their lives."

Folks, this is right up in Alton. For those of us in Granite, it's 15-20 minutes. Couple it with a drive up the river road to see the eagles and a stop at Pere Marquette for a chilly hike.

A map to the church:
View Larger Map

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Delicious
  • Digg
  • Posterous
  • PrintFriendly
  • Share/Bookmark
Print This Post Print This Post
Filed under: Uncategorized 1 Comment
18Jan/100

Trinity Koinonia 7: Community in Christ

KoinoniaFor all of our friends and family (particularly parishioners of Holy Family, St. Elizabeth, and St. Mary/St. Mark parishes here in Granite City):

Registration is now open for Trinity Koinonia 7. TK-7, as it's called in shorthand, will be held at Holy Family Parish on March 19-21 of this year.

“Koinonia” is a Greek word meaning “community.” Koinonia is a community experience in Christian living designed especially for adults. In a Koinonia weekend, you encounter Christ first-hand in the community of fellow believers that forms and experiences the weekend together.

The purpose of Koinonia is two-fold. The first is to offer a time and place for experiencing the reality of Christian community, fellowship, and sharing. The second is to provide a depth of faith-sharing support that allows and challenges inner renewal for each participant.

The weekend is designed for anyone who wants to deepen his/her relationship with God, enhance his/her own spirituality and for anyone who would like to spend time with a group of people with like interests. Participants come from various walks of life, age spans, and faiths.

It's a weekend of great food, awesome talks and testimonials, of worship and good new friendships, of music and fun and laughter.

You could call Koinonia a retreat, but it's more than just a retreat.

You could call Koinoina an encounter weekend, but it's more than just an encounter weekend.

I am honored and humbled to have been called to be the lay director for this weekend, and am pleased at the team members that Christ called to join me in this effort. Two priests, Father Larry and Father Chris, will be with us through the weekend to preside over the sacraments and spiritual matters.

TK7 is March 19-21, 2010. It begins on Friday evening at 5:00 p.m. and concludes at 4:00 p.m. Sunday evening. Participants return home at the end of each day and return the following morning. Participants are required to commit to the entire weekend community unless there is an emergency.

The theme of the Koinonia weekend is the Paschal Mystery; the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. This central teaching of our faith is discussed and shown how it can be applied to our daily lives. During the weekend the church year – Lent, Easter, Pentecost – is expressed in the three days.

Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and help you in your decision to commit to this grace-filled weekend.

I sincerely hope you'll join us.

Registration forms are accepted on a first-come-first-served basis, and can be downloaded and printed (in PDF form) here.

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Delicious
  • Digg
  • Posterous
  • PrintFriendly
  • Share/Bookmark
Print This Post Print This Post
Filed under: Uncategorized No Comments
7Jan/100

Barely 3″

"The sky is falling! The sky is falling!"

"4-8" of snow is on the way!"

It was nice to wake up to barely 3" of light, soft, beautiful snow.

And Thomas is great at helping me shovel.

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Delicious
  • Digg
  • Posterous
  • PrintFriendly
  • Share/Bookmark
Print This Post Print This Post
Filed under: Uncategorized No Comments
6Jan/100

Hello world!

Yeah, I figured it was about time to do a little Halbrook.net overhaul. Drupal was just too much, yet not enough, at the same time.

Over time, I'll add the old Halbrook.net content as pages here. I've imported BreadAlive.com content below... I'm still trying to decide how to treat this space vs. that space.

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Delicious
  • Digg
  • Posterous
  • PrintFriendly
  • Share/Bookmark
Print This Post Print This Post
Filed under: Uncategorized No Comments
12Feb/090

Sleeping Beauty

On the phone this morning, before I headed from my suite to the office:

THOMAS:
Dad, do you know my middle name?

ME:
Of course. It's Xavier.

THOMAS:
No. It's Sleeping Beauty.

ME:

Nuh-uh. It's Xavier.

THOMAS:
No. It's Cinderella.

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Delicious
  • Digg
  • Posterous
  • PrintFriendly
  • Share/Bookmark
Print This Post Print This Post
Filed under: Uncategorized No Comments
31Jan/090

RSS Feed Issue Resolved

rss.jpgThanks to Father Robert who emailed to point out that there's been an issue with the RSS feed since the "USA Tagline" post mid-week. One evening in the hotel room on my trip, I updated my feed service, migrating from FeedBurner to Google as asked to do by them (since they're moving everyone over to the one service now.) I hadn't noticed that it had stopped working, but wondered where my subscriber counts had gone!

If you're migrating from FeedBurner to Google and use branded feed URLs, don't miss this post by Tim Heuer. You've probably already found it, since it's high in Google results for this issue, but it was the magic bullet. Don't miss the part at the bottom about having to deactivate your branded feeds and then reactivate it and add them back in.

Don't forget that you can subscribe to BreadAlive via your RSS reader - the link is over there on the top-right of each page.

For those who are wondering what this is all about: Check out WhatIsRSS?

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Delicious
  • Digg
  • Posterous
  • PrintFriendly
  • Share/Bookmark
Print This Post Print This Post
Filed under: Uncategorized No Comments
12Nov/080

Recipe: Gooey Butter Cookies

gooeybuttercookies.JPG

[I didn't think to take a picture this time around, so photo credit: Team DeJean]

Suzanne made these the other night for some meetings we had this week, and so many friends have asked for the recipe as a result... so here goes:

One of
our favorites, Michael's grandma Mennerick discovered this recipe in
the St. Louis Post Dispatch a few years ago. Friends and family have
been requesting it for parties ever since. Michael always makes them
with love, although the complexity of the recipe (especially once the
batter starts to warm back to room temperature and becomes unimaginably
messy in one's hands) makes it one of the most frustrating to make and
always makes the kitchen very messy.

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter (we use Imperial or Parkay margarine)
  • 1/4 teaspoon vanilla
  • 1 egg
  • 1 - 8 ounce package cream cheese
  • 1 box Duncan Hines Moist Deluxe Butter Recipe Golden cake mix
  • Powdered sugar for dipping/rolling drops of dough
  • Powdered sugar for sifting on top of cookies after you take them off of cookie sheets
  • Nonstick cooking spray

Directions:

  • Beat softened butter, vanilla, egg, and cream cheese until light and fluffy.
  • Mix in DRY cake mix.
  • Chill for 30-40 minutes.
  • Preheat oven to 350.
  • Lightly coat cookie sheets with cooking spray.
  • Drop dough by teaspoonfuls in bowl of powdered sugar, lightly roll into balls.
  • Bake for 12 minutes or until light golden brown underneath.
  • Makes about 4 dozen. If you make the balls slightly smaller the batch will make about 65 cookies.
  • When cool, sift powdered sugar on top of cookies. (Use different powdered sugar than hat you rolled the dough balls in.)
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Delicious
  • Digg
  • Posterous
  • PrintFriendly
  • Share/Bookmark
Print This Post Print This Post
Filed under: Uncategorized No Comments
12Sep/080

Welcome to Bread Alive

Through Baptism we became members of the Body of Christ (CCC 1267), like branches grafted onto the True Vine (c.f. John 15). Apart from him we can bear no fruit. Apart from him we have no life (c.f. Jn 15: 5-6, 6:51). And in order to sustain this life, Jesus, "the living bread come down from heaven" (Jn 6:47) commands us to eat his flesh and drink his blood (Jn 6:53, 1 Cor 11:24-25). Through our reception of this august Sacrament and by the power of the Holy Spirit, we are able to fulfill our Baptismal calling (CCC 1396), and so the many are made one (1 Cor 10:16-17), the bonds of charity are strengthened. Then, having received the Living Bread, we are sent forth (Ite missa est, Mt. 28:19) to be the light of the world (Mt 5:14), the yeast (Mt 13:33) which will enable the Kingdom of God to reach its fulfillment. Indeed, we are sent forth to be Christ for others, to be for them the Living Bread for which they hunger. With God's grace we can be Bread Alive.

As married Christians, we have a special responsibility to be Bread Alive because our married love gives witness to the love between Christ and his bride, the Church (LG 11, Ef 5:21-32). This love reached its fulfillment on the cross when the Son of God layed down his life for his friends (Jn 15:13, Rom 5:8). And so our lives must imitate this love (1 John 4:11, 21). Our lives must be as bread, broken and given, so that others, through the grace of God, may join with us in the heavenly feast already being celebrated here on Earth.

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Delicious
  • Digg
  • Posterous
  • PrintFriendly
  • Share/Bookmark
Print This Post Print This Post
Filed under: Uncategorized No Comments